How to Win The Party

There comes a point in everyone's life when they need to win the party. You may ask, what exactly is "winning the party"? Well, it's an age-old ultimate frisbee term for being the loudest, most obnoxious, most noticed, and most fun person/team at the tournament party. Basically, it is when everyone who talks about the party later on in the month/year talks about you and what you did, and hardly remembers anything else about the whole evening. That is when you have won the party.

The next question is: well, how do you win a party? And that is what I am here to tell you today.

The most consistent way to win the party is to have more energy than everyone else, be involved in everything, and stay at the party the longest. That being said, it isn't always the easiest thing in the world to do. Sometimes you are tired, or uninspired, or just don't want to be involved in everything. Don't worry, I've compiled a list of the top things that you need to do in order to win the party.

1. Show up late: and I mean late. If the party starts at 8, don't show up until 11:30 (note: this is frisbee specific. Office parties may have a different time schedule). The truth is, nothing happens in the first two hours of a party anyway, and most people don't show up for those hours. So show up late, after everyone is already there and has gotten past their catch up with old friends stage and is now looking to start getting down.
2. Make an entrance: so it's 11:30, and you want to make sure that everyone knows when you got to the party. Drive up in a 1978 Lincoln Towncar with all the windows up, except the sunroof. Have a friend drive right up to the front door, slam on the brakes right in front, and get out. Then, have them get out of the car, adjust their tie, slowly walk over to the passenger side door, and let you out as if you were a combination of Madonna, Beyonce, and the Queen of England all roled up into one person. If you are going to the party en masse with some friends, have them all get out of the car then as well (you'd be surprised how many people you can comfortably fit into a 1978 Lincoln Towncar. It is something around 12 close friends).
3. Make sure everyone knows that you are there: now it's time for your social hour. Make sure that after you have made your entrance, you see and talk to everyone. Be nice and happy, say hi to people even if you don't know their names, and generally look like you are having a good time.
4. Make your mark: a little while after you arrive, and after the social part is done, it's time to make your mark on the party. You will have to read the party to determine exactly when this needs to be done, it could be almost immediately upon arrival, or it could wait until 2 in the morning. Regardless, now is the time to be involved in some sort of spectacle. You don't actually have to be the one performing the spectacle, but make sure that you are at least the one announcing it (goad a friend into landsharking, and then while they are preparing themselves make an announcement to the entire party about what is going to happen, or start some sort of contest that gets everyone involved and playing, etc).
5. Before you leave, make another mark: right before you leave, make sure and make another public appearance. This is for the late nighters who sit in a corner and drink until 5am. If they see you, and notice that you are still up and going at 2, they'll talk about you to everyone else later the next day or week. It doesn't matter if you leave right after your appearance, but it does matter that you make that appearance.

Hopefully this is enough to make sure that everyone talks about you for the next week or month, which is a sure sign that you have won the party. If someone else appears to have the same strategy, you'll just have to play it up a little more, and then try to outlast them. If they stay until 2, stay until 3. If they start a contest with half the people participating, start a contest with everyone involved. You get the point.

Now get out there and start winning!