My 21st Birthday Napkins

When I was in college, for your 21st birthday, everyone that you knew went to the bar in town (yes, there was only one bar in town at that time). Since things tended to get a little hectic, being someone's 21st birthday and all, it was somebody's job to write down everything of import that happened on the bar napkins, and then you could look over them the next day as you were wondering what the hell happened the night before.

Anyway, I just ran across mine from 7 years ago, and I thought that I would share. Here goes (TS is me):

• 9:02-Raspberry Kamikaze


• 9:05-Stoplight (shot of something red, shot of something yellow, shot of something green). TS-"Do you want my keys now?" JB-"No, we'll just reach down your pants later."


• 9:08-Long Island Iced Tea


• 9:19-TS is threatened by big hicks


• 9:20-'Desperado' on the jukebox, TS rides the fences.


• 9:23-TS tries to say "The Skunk Thump the Stump Thunk".


• 9:24-Was that a whip cream bra? JB and TS head bang.


• 9:29-Lemon Drop


• 9:31-Kelly feels up Ivana. At least they are roommates.


• 9:32-Three wise men (shot of Johnnie Walker, shot of Jack Daniels, and a shot of Jim Beam)


• 9:33-TS spills one of the wise men, because whiskey tastes like ass!


• 9:35-Bartender tells Brooke to keep her shirt on.


• 9:36-Brooke feels up camera


• 9:37-Makes it past Ron's 21st, who only made it 31 minutes from first drink to puking.


• 9:41-Kelly "I can't find the hole!"


• 9:58-Rum and Coke


• 10:10-TS and JB "go to the bathroom together"


• 10:13-JB returns, where's TS? "Trying to pee"


• 10:14-TS returns, pee successful.


• 10:17-One nice drink, and one mean drink, from Apu


• 10:19-Takes mean drink, "It's Evil!" "This is what went on top of our Christmas tree!" (Jack Daniels) "No, we put the beer on the tree."


• 10:21-Takes nice drink, wants another. Bartender won't tell what it was, TS accuses bartender of only becoming a bartender to be like Tom Cruise.


• 10:23-Ivana "Have you felt her muscle in a while?" TS "No, that's for later" "I'm so flat that I make the walls jealous"


• 10:24-TS "I'm drunk, I'm insistent, don't play this game with me."


• 10:25-TS "strikes a pose"


• 10:26-Kelly threatens throwing a dart into Seth's face


• 10:31-TS spills in his crotch, asks if anyone wants to help clean it up


• 10:33-TS talks shit, then hits funny bone very hard. Karma's a bitch


• 10:36-TS puts moves on Mimi, talks about "pussilishish" things


• 10:37-"I will comve over and kick your ass, bitch! That was my nose!"


• 10:44-Amaretto Sour.


• 10:45-TS feels up camera


• 10:50-Prairie Fire. TS "No Katilla", refuses to drink.


• 10:51-Clay drinks Prairie Fire.


• 10:52-Sex on the Beach


• 10:55-"You know how that guy fell over? Well, I just knocked over a table."


• 10:57-"I woke up one morning, looked into the mirror and scared the shit out of myself"


• 11:03-TS draws a middle finger on his hand


• 11:04-Bottle Cap


• 11:09-TS wants Janaki soooo bad. Brooke licks Janaki's hand.


• 11:31-Brooke calls TS a pussy, so TS drinks the ketchup.


• 11:33-"Dick is good"


• 11:35-TS shows his ass


• 11:36-TS steals Clay's glasses


• 11:42-Vomit time

As you can see, sometime not a whole lot happens. But sometimes it is nice to know just how much you drank, who you hit on, who hit on you, what random quotes were said, etc.

Now go out there and get Napkining!