The Non-Party

The biggest problem with the party season is that there is an off-season. Or, more correctly, the party season ends and the frisbee season begins. This pretty much means that there are fewer and fewer parties as the summer draws near, and even less through the fall.

What does this mean for a Party Season Blog? Death through lack? HELL NO! It just means that we will be branching out more when parties don't happen, and spending more time reflecting on the parties that did happen.

That being said, I haven't been to a party in a couple weeks (which is why I am gnawing on my arm right now). But I will relay a story that I heard from one I didn't go to:

Big fish, little fish, cardboard box.

And I know that only 20 or so people will understand that, but those 20 people will all smile.

I'm a Sucker for Consumerism

Well, I went and did it. Not only did I sign up for the free ipod (link is on the right), but I signed up for the free flatscreen monitor too.

It's not my fault, I have an addictive personality. Instead of letting that out in the completely normal and usual way by drinking, gambling, smoking and having a lot of meaningless sex, I get free stuff.

It doesn't matter how horrible the stuff is, as long as it is free. I got 28 table legs the other day. 28. What the hell am I going to do with that? I can use 8, maybe 12. But they were free, so I had to get them.

Anyways, back to the free flat screens. I need some help to get this, and I'm hoping that you will help me (you = my audience, limited in number but not nature). Please sign up under my link.

Well, that is my plea, take it as you will. Now I need lunch.

Comments are a good thing...

Y'all, just to let you know that you don't have to sign in to write comments. You don't have to have a Blogger account, or a username, or anything. You don't even have to leave your real name, or any name at all. But you can still leave comments, which I think would be kind of fun.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

Warning: Genius at Work

I went to another birthday party last weekend, and although I was only there for a short time, I had fun. I also heard quite a few stories about the party the next day from other party-goers. My favorite story is as follows:
About midnight, the police showed up. Sam, the birthday boy, went to talk to them-
Sam: "What seems to be the problem officer?"
Police: "Well, it seems like someone that you didn't invite to the party was jealous, and called about a noise complaint. But I just can't shut this party down, you guys look like you are having too much fun."
Sam: "Ok. Uh, thanks?"
Police: "Yeah, you guys keep having a good time here, keep rockin'."

The story is better than that, but that is the abbreviated version.

The other story I'm pretty happy about is the guy in the picture above. He found a watermelon, and decided that it needed to have Vodka in it. So he started carving a hole in the watermelon to pour vodka in. Of course, he didn't really think it through, and then he made a critical error-he asked me for advice about how to do it. So I told him to carve a big enough hole to fit the top of the vodka bottle, and then just turn it upside down. And he did, and then left it in the sink to marinate.

A couple hours later, when they were cleaning up from the party, the watermelon was "found" again. Still in the sink, still upside down, and still with the vodka bottle pouring into it. Now that is genius at work.

Anyway, I was only there for a short time, but here are the pictures from the party. Enjoy.

Best Ways to Amuse Yourself at a Party

Everyone has been to a party where they were bored. Either they didn't know anyone, or didn't want to be out, or something else, but they ended up not having a good time. I think that is a crying shame, and I've come up with a list of suggestions to alleviate this problem, and hopefully it won't ever happen again. Here's the list:

1: Be the keg guy/girl - hang out at the keg all night long. Sooner or later, everyone will be by to say hello, and you never run out of beer in your cup.
2: Dance, but not well - this one is for those parties where you don't know anyone. Put on a snooty attitude, and then go dance as badly as possible. If anyone looks at you weird, give them as haughty a look as you possible can, and continue dancing. Hopefully you can convince others that you are the only "in" person at the party, and get them to start dancing like you.
3: Make bets about who is going to hook up, and then try to affect the outcome of the bet - everyone likes a party where they make money.
4: When no one is looking, change the CD's to show tunes. Bitch and moan when the host changes them for dance/techno. Repeat 15 minutes later.
5: Try to convince everyone that the keg is empty when it isn't - if they fall for it, take the keg into a private room/garage, invite your close friends inside, and try to finish the rest of the keg yourself.
6: Speak only in Lymerics (only for advanced amusers).
7: Try to convince as many people as you can that a small percentage of genetically gifted people can touch their elbows together behind their backs. It may not actually reveal genetically gifted people, but it will definitely reveal the "ungifted" (you'll know what I mean when you watch someone try to figure out how to get their elbows to touch for longer than 2 minutes).
8: Chair wrestling, enough said.

This list is not exhaustive, by any means, but it should be a way to start things going when you are bored. In fact, I think I'm going to try #8 right now, I'll let you know who wins...

House Parties: Great or Boring?

What happened to the mid-week party? I remember some of the most fun I've had at parties is when I didn't even know there was a party until after I showed up. For instance, one Tuesday I went over to a friends place. There were a bunch of us there, sitting around and playing video games. A couple more friends showed up, and it became obvious that we either needed to start a party, or people were going to go home. So we started a party. 8 different half empty bottles of liquor and 4 hours later, it was one of the best parties I've been too. And the best part was that everyone there had a good time. There wasn't a person there that didn't want to be there, drinking, dancing, and having a good time.

Here's my question, when does that stop. Does that go away when:
1) You get a job
B) You get old
iii) House parties are too "college" these days
4) or simply no one cares about having fun anymore?

Suffice to say, I miss the good old days.

UW Ultimate Fundraiser Party

Here's the premise: the UW women's ultimate team had a party for a fundraiser. They charged to get a keg cup, to get a shot glass, to get a shot glass with a shot in it, to get a shot glass and a body shot with your UW player of choice, to buy a disc, to buy a disc with Gin and Tonic in it, or just to buy a body shot or jello shot. Basically, they took advantage of the fact that college guys will pay a lot of money when good looking women are involved, and I think that it worked out for them.

It was a little strange to show up to a party with such a staggered ratio of men to women. I went outside to get a beer, and there were 40 guys on the deck, and one woman talking to a couple of them. Then again, I wasn't really interested in the body shot aspect of the party, so I just walked up to the front of the keg line and got some beer (by the way, if you are at a college party and 1-you have graduated from college, 2-you didn't go to the college that the party is being held at, and 3-you don't know a lot of people at the party, lines at the keg don't count for you. Just walk right up to the front, offer to pump the tap a few times, fill your beer, and leave). After that, a bunch of us found a couch right in front of the door to the keg and camped out. Now that is the way to party.

I did manage to take a few pictures too. I didn't want to take a lot of photos of body shots because it made me feel dirty. So if you're looking for some make-out action, there's plenty of it elsewhere on the internet because it ain't here. That being said, here's the pictures.

Please enjoy responsibly.